Wednesday, September 28, 2016
I've been thinking about something the last few weeks. So, you know my father passed away at the end of June. I feel confident I've processed the loss pretty well. I feel, and my siblings feel, we were as prepared for this inevitability as we could possibly be. And we know dad had a great, long, and successful life. In the scheme of things, it's really ok. So there's no regret, just the lingering sadness of not having him around. It's almost a pleasant sadness - the missing him. I feel like a character in a Jane Austin novel, indulging in a sweet melancholy. Ok, maybe that's too much, but you know I do have a flair for the dramatic. You realize after a few months, that life does go on, and that it's ok to celebrate, it's ok to be happy, it's ok to live life. And that's a great thing.
But this brings up a question. What do you do, what do you say, when you see someone you haven't seen in a few months? You know, the friends you run into occasionally who may not know the details of your life. Obviously, this has been probably the most significant event in my life, the loss of my father. Summer's over, so the natural question is, "How was your summer?" You see instantly my dilemma. Do you say, "Well, great, but my dad died a couple of months ago." Which invariably leads to, "Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss." (Which, if truth be told is a phrase I hate.) And then the entire encounter with your acquaintance becomes about "the loss." Many times it involves their stories about their own "losses." Which isn't necessarily a conversation you want to have. Or do you just leave it at , "Great! How was yours?" It's a really good question because how long is too long to keep bringing it up? How long is not long enough to NOT bring it up?
Just something to ponder on this hump day.
Come see us today. It's beginning to feel like fall, so a nice warm soup will be just what the doctor ordered, as my Grampe used to say. Have a great day.